AFTERGLOW

…You are leaving today.  I will stay back… for a while… then move on… to a new destination… somewhere you know… I know… you will be someplace else… but still near and close to my heart… as I will be, to yours.  Last night was like an enticing dream… sharing with you the remaining moments before we part… we laughed… teased…  made love slow and soft… and then you lied on top of me … your face resting on my bare chest… hands around my neck… Me holding you softly… and we slept with an eternal peace… with the never let go bonding…

I love you my sweetooe baby… yes; that is what I call you… and you love it every time I say… making your cute face and complaining…”I am not a baby…” and I laugh… amused with your innocence….

Woke up today morning… alive but scared to be conscious… the walls of my room kept squeezing me… your voice still echoing in my ear… I realized I never slept the last night… I was watching you all the time, cuddled up peacefully… sleeping… in my arms… you looked so beautiful… Everything around me reminds me of you… The times when I asked you, what shall I buy, from the grocery store… the essentials for the flamboyant exoticas … the sweet nothings for the ‘Sniper’ with me… Am I feeling so helpless without you…??  ‘Or’ maybe I am feeling incomplete… May be… Maybe it’s the missing syndrome that is causing these effects… and I hate it, for they are so strong and special… the special effects as in the words of a Filmmaker… Special they are indeed… Life itself is a big screen Film… where we have to do it all… from the screenplay to the acting and editing… even sometimes directing… as God is getting to busy a schedule to direct all that’s happening on this planet… Well; I gotta direct and act now…. Both; for me… for you.  Shakespeare’s words have come a long way for a changeover… This world’s still a stage, but we are not just mere actors now… haha… am I amused with this theory… well I guess Yes!, ‘cos am laughing…

I left the room, just the way it was in its state… even the sheets are not done… nothing… they still have your smell in them… the glasses we drank wine together are still there just as you left ‘em on my table… the last half burnt cigarette in my ashtray… black and dead… when you took it off from my lips and gave me the glare… well that would be the last one always, I guess… ‘cos there’s too much smoke everywhere… inside me… around me… well that’s a promise incomplete I make to myself… atleast I need something in  my lips… captivating and intoxicating…

“…O’ lord am stuck in a LODI”, that’s what PEARL JAM is singing… as I look out of the window… at the sky… trying to search your face…

Time is passing by, and you are busy now… No! it’s not time to leave yet… You have million things to do… before you say ‘Goodbye’… I steal a glance at your half packed bag, feeling selfishly relieved… its not done yet… she will be here sometime more… a few moments more… I feel like hiding your bags… your ticket… or maybe your shoes… but you have wings in your feet and wind beneath… you are not gonna stop anyways… not even if I want to… But, Hey! Do I want to stop you..?? NO! I don’t sweetheart… you are leaving on a journey for your life… something you have been waiting for since… dunno when… I can’t recall… Maybe you cannot too… its been so long… but I will wait… for I know you will be back… Once you asked… “If I will still love you the way I do today… tonight…” I was numb… and said it all with a kiss… and I knew… you sure knew something… I want to say today… my words loud and clear… “Honey… I will always love you the way I do now… more strong and more than the same… it will enrich and nourish itself within me, as I will wait for you at Destination new, where we have promised to meet… you can feel the strength in my heart… that beats within you…”

Yes! We will meet… we are destined to… my journey will begun after you have reached your first point of stop… we will cruise along our separate voyages… through different channels… to meet again… at the place decided… just like two rivers meet at the mouth of a sea… and become ‘one’ forever… till then me and you will see each other… every night… in our land of dreams… someplace that is ours and no one can trespass…

Am all on a shine… flying like a phoenix… born again with your Magical touch… enlightened with the GLOW of your love… the Glow-After, as you leave… and I promise… I will see you tonight… every night… out of sight… feel me my love… rise and shine… with my touch… with the marks of my lips on your skin… I am within you… as you gleam and follow with me… in the AFTERGLOW… of our forbidden love…

I Love You Shona…!

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